first time...

Today is the first time I smacked hy once and on his shoulder/back. I really really lost my temper.
I never believe in hitting my child but i just lost it when I returned to the room and saw that hy has shaken hk's rocker roughly, causing hk to wake up from his sleep, despite telling him not to do so. It was not the first time he did this and usually i let it go after lecturing him. I didnt really had a hard time rocking hk to sleep but I am feeling very tired and hasnt been myself. Probably because I am down with flu, throat infection and slight cough. The night feedings and coping with two kids during the day had taken its toil on me. I suspect that I am also under stress from staying at home since the birth of hk and rarely going out for relaxation or enjoyment. The last time I had gone out for a date night with hubby was for our 3rd year wedding anniversary on 30 march.

Anyway,I had explained to HY why I had hit him after he stopped crying. He just kept quiet and listened. He did not apologise and neither did i ask for one.

Well during the day, HY would busy himself with throwing toys everywhere, taking things out frm the drawer and throwing them on the floor. Otherwise he would watch cartoon, play applications on my iPhone or nap for a while. If the weather is good, we'll visit the playground nearby and do some marketing at the supermarket. Hy is like an energizer bunny always moving, exploring, doing things with his hands around the house. I  wanted to teach him at home but it had been very difficult ever since i had hk.  I felt tired easily and overwhelmed by the kids everyday.

I was just thinking to myself should i decided not to send him for playgroup i should really sit down for 15 to 20 mins a day to do some activities with him. He is getting bored and frustrated too. But then again teaching him at home will be different from what was being taught in school.