Looking back

While looking at HK's face as he was asleep, it suddenly occur to me how fast he had grown. It also brought back memories of the period where i was pregnant with HK and also with HY.

For HK, it was not a smooth pregnancy. Throughout the whole pregnancy, i was constantly having horror nightmares where i always dreamt that i was harmed or that i actually harmed someone. There was always alot of darkness and blood. I was always thinking to myself that the number of nightmares that i had during that period could easily exceed the number of nightmares or dreams that i had since i was a child.

I was also plagued with serious blocked nose, tightness of the stomach, bad migraines, headaches and heaviness at the cervix. I was also constantly feeling unwell (whole body aching / heaviness at the head or headaches) and there was a period in my 2nd or 3rd trimester that i was down with flu and severe blocked nose. I had to be absent from work for 2 whole weeks. I had to seek the help of my parents to care for HY as all i could do for the whole day was lie down on bed. It was the worst period of my life. 
I was very accident-prone too. I fell down twice; once at the pavement at the bus-stop near my home and the other time was at home.

During that period all i prayed for was the safe delivery of my second child and i count my blessings that HK was borned safe and sound. :)


In HY's case, the pregnancy was more uncertain. At 10 weeks' into the pregnancy, we almost lost him. My gynae detected that the sac was an irregular bean shape instead of a healthy round circular shape. I was put on 4 days' bed rest and on hormonal pills as i was heavily bleeding. I prayed and prayed for his safe delivery and that i could hold my first precious bundle of joy in my arms when he is due. My gynae said there was only a 50% chance of survival for my baby. And that was not all, after my pregnancy was stablised, i had terrible backaches, headaches and bad morning sickness. Occasionally i had frightening nightmares as well though not as horrifying as the nightmares that i had when i was pregnant with HK.


Now HY is 26 months old while HK is turning 7 months soon, its still a long way before they will become independent.
At times, when HY is mischievous and super active, i had to remind myself to have more patience for him telling myself that everyday is a new experience with my very precious children. I will truly treasure these periods where they still need me and I'll do my best to be a good mommy.