Saturday, May 21, 2011

Looking back

While looking at HK's face as he was asleep, it suddenly occur to me how fast he had grown. It also brought back memories of the period where i was pregnant with HK and also with HY.

For HK, it was not a smooth pregnancy. Throughout the whole pregnancy, i was constantly having horror nightmares where i always dreamt that i was harmed or that i actually harmed someone. There was always alot of darkness and blood. I was always thinking to myself that the number of nightmares that i had during that period could easily exceed the number of nightmares or dreams that i had since i was a child.

I was also plagued with serious blocked nose, tightness of the stomach, bad migraines, headaches and heaviness at the cervix. I was also constantly feeling unwell (whole body aching / heaviness at the head or headaches) and there was a period in my 2nd or 3rd trimester that i was down with flu and severe blocked nose. I had to be absent from work for 2 whole weeks. I had to seek the help of my parents to care for HY as all i could do for the whole day was lie down on bed. It was the worst period of my life. 
I was very accident-prone too. I fell down twice; once at the pavement at the bus-stop near my home and the other time was at home.

During that period all i prayed for was the safe delivery of my second child and i count my blessings that HK was borned safe and sound. :)

In HY's case, the pregnancy was more uncertain. At 10 weeks' into the pregnancy, we almost lost him. My gynae detected that the sac was an irregular bean shape instead of a healthy round circular shape. I was put on 4 days' bed rest and on hormonal pills as i was heavily bleeding. I prayed and prayed for his safe delivery and that i could hold my first precious bundle of joy in my arms when he is due. My gynae said there was only a 50% chance of survival for my baby. And that was not all, after my pregnancy was stablised, i had terrible backaches, headaches and bad morning sickness. Occasionally i had frightening nightmares as well though not as horrifying as the nightmares that i had when i was pregnant with HK.

Now HY is 26 months old while HK is turning 7 months soon, its still a long way before they will become independent.
At times, when HY is mischievous and super active, i had to remind myself to have more patience for him telling myself that everyday is a new experience with my very precious children. I will truly treasure these periods where they still need me and I'll do my best to be a good mommy.

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